Monday, March 19, 2012

Differences between Filipinas and Chinese as potential partners

A typical Filipina
I've heard it said that "all women are the same" and I've also heard that "every woman is different". There are many different opinions out there about what women are like, it's impossible for any of us men to know anything really. Which is why we love women.

Anyway, it is indeed hard to paint any group of people with the same proverbial brush. Having said that, I will give you the benefit of my experiences -- which may be totally worthless -- of having dated extensively on both the FilipinoCupid.com website and the Chnlove.com website. My experience tells me there are prevailing attitudes and behaviors on each of these.

Filipino women -- or, Filipinas -- are relaxed, and comfortable with the notion of dating long distance. Many of them are indeed very interested in teaming up with a Western man and emigrating to live with you. They are in general more "sexually liberated" than Chinese women are, and are usually comfortable with hopping into bed with their new partner (you) within a day of two of meeting you at the airport. They are an irony to the supposed Church-dominated society where abortion and divorce are illegal, and where a packet of condoms costs about a week's salary of the average worker.
There is a long tradition of Filipinas marrying Westerners, moving to North America, and supporting their family back home ever after.

Chinese women are more cautious. It appears as if a much higher percentage of Chinese women remain largely sexually inactive outside of a committed, long term relationship. That's not to say they won't climb into bed with you when you visit them in China for the first time. They are simply not as westernized or liberated as Filipino women are. Still, a Chinese woman who has gone to the trouble of investing in her relationship with you will likely believe you expect a more sexually active partner than a local Chinese man might expect. She will also know, you won't look down on her in the morning, as might be the case with her countrymen.

A typical Chinese woman
Possibly because they come from a "Cradle-to-Grave" society, as China has been for decades, Chinese women have more of a "dependency" attitude than their Filipino equivalents have. Chinese women, generally speaking, expect to be rescued, in the sense that you will take care of them in a more old-fashioned way. Filipinas, on the other hand, have never had a government (or anyone else) that was every going to look after them. I see this difference reflecting itself in the more independent and self-sufficient woman you might ultimately have at your side if you marry and bring a Filipina to the States.

Filipinas generally know how to "work the system" of the online dating world. You will find that, early on in your relationship with your Filipina, she may ask you for money. I lost count of the number of Filipinas I began online chatting with only to be asked for money to help cover her mother's hospital bills. I never sent any, but I lost track of how often I was asked. $300 seems to be the magic number.

Rule #1: Don't send money to anyone you have never met.

Still, you soft-hearted person, you will probably break that rule quickly.

If you want a flexible lady partner who can take your Bohemian, rough-and-tumble lifestyle in her stride, I recommend a Filipina. If you want a woman with a deeper cultural background and who expects to live a more traditional, structured family life, a Chinese woman might be more suited to your needs.
Almost any Filipina you might marry and bring to the US will want to send money -- perhaps in the range of $300 to $600 -- back to her family every month. if you can cover that, you will have her undying loyalty for the rest of your life.

This is a gross generalization, of course, but Filipinas tend to have more of a sense of humor than Chinese ladies. It is perhaps because many Chinese are brought up in a single child family environment, and Filipinas are mostly raised in a crowded, extended family environment, with plenty of socialization from the day they were born.

The further south in China you go, though, the more easy-going the Chinese women seem to be. I can't explain that. I just found it to be the case in my travels. It's almost like, they are more "German-like" in the North and more "Italian-like" in the South.
There I go again reinforcing stereotypes!

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